Funny things to read in Ansi's voice

i'm sorry god

its all just tweets from veggiefact so that makes it 69 times better

yes i actually read all of these in ansi's voice and now my chest hurts because i laughed too hard

i read a lot of things in ansi's voice lmao please fucking burn me alive
 * "in this moment i am both a god and at death's door"
 * "what if undertale was real and existed in our world"
 * "you want fucking beetroot?"
 * "Weedgoku420"
 * "watch this crazy boy beat a lobster to death using only his toes"
 * "Feel the rush as a 4 headed lobster enters your room and screams the ABCs."
 * "a car crash can be a fantastic opportunity"
 * "children laugh at my grossly large collection of vegetables but when i animate them they will regret their behaviour"
 * "the shed is open. Proceed"
 * "The void calls often and sometimes I wanna fucking answer!"
 * "soap scum"
 * "I fucking RELISH the crunching sound when I eat celery I pretend it's Frankencelery's ugly fucking bones cracking under my teeth i hate him"
 * "Oh so you're a Veggietales fan? Name five of their songs."
 * "Whomst'd've'lu'yaint'nt'ed'ies's'y'es'nt't're'ing'able'tic'ive'al'nt'ne'm'll'ble'al'ny'less'w'ck'k'ly'py'nd'idy'ety'st'ged'ful'ish'ng'my'ous"
 * "what the FUCK"
 * "239 days since i've fed my son, i believe he is dead now"
 * "I always wanted to die but not like this #ElectionNight"
 * "doo doo spaghetti house"
 * "DEHUMANISE YOURSELF AND FACE TO BLOODSHED"
 * "they took my fucking eyes"
 * "Don’t put corn in your asshole what the fuck is wrong with you."
 * "REAL VEGGIE HOURS"