Thread:Dynasti the Radicles Fangirl/@comment-3969350-20180821233634/@comment-28445106-20180909155621

Don’t buy into the lies of this Spider-Man game, spiders cannot actually turn you into a Spiderman. I would know this since I tried being bit by every species of spider, only to find out that I cannot actually shoot spider webs out of my hands. The game doesn’t even come with a ”don’t try this at home” which they should be sued for. By me. For trying it at home. But then I think “what would a Spiderman do?” and it all dawns on me. I attach silly string to my forearms and lurk the streets in a spider-man costume. I wait until I see a startled woman and then spray her directly in the face, aiming straight for the kisser. I think inform her who I am, “Your friendly neighborhood Spiderman!” and then wait for my applause by the bitch. After taking her home, shooting tranquilizer into her and having her awaken to being in a cocoon of Dexter-style, I then cannibalize her alive. For a moment, I feel as if I was a true Spiderman. But when I look in the mirror, all I feel is shame in living a lie. All I want is to be a Spiderman. I want a refund to say the least.