The Bunkest/Episodes/Season 1: Dunkelheit Debuts

"Dunkelheit Debuts" is the eighth episode of the first season of The Bunkest.

Synopsis
After hearing about Prof. Wright's breakthroughs in Dark Universe studies, evil scientist Dr. Dunkelheit sends schemes to get them in his own hands. However, he struggled to cooperate with his artificial unintelligence units, Click and Clack.

Transcript
(Pan in on the Bunkest, then show the door for Prof. Wright's lab. He bursts out smiling.)

Prof. Wright: You guys will NOT believe what I just discovered!

Madi: What is it?

Prof. Wright: It's unbelievable! It's spectacular! It's more information on the Dark Universe!

Pixel: That doesn't sound too unbelievable. I mean, isn't the Dark Universe what you're always studying?

Prof. Wright: Yes! But this is a breakthrough!

Jasmine: Ooh! What's the breakthrough?

Prof. Wright: A secret! You never know when someone is spying on you from miles away, ready to take your secrets and keep them as their own...

Pixel: Don't be ridiculous, why would somebody be doing that?

(Cut to Dr. Dunkelheit in his lair, doing exactly that.)

Dr. Dunkelheit: Curses! I knew Prof. Wright would always be one step ahead! What I need is a plan to steal his research, and claim it as my own! And then, when no one is looking, I will harness the power of the Dark Universe! (laughs maniacally) Anything to clobber the man that once beat me at ping-pong.

(Flashback of Prof. Wright and Dr. Dunkelheit playing ping-pong. It's unfair, because Prof. Wright has a robot arm that can always extend to block Dr. Dunkelheit's movement. Dr. Dunkelheit gives it his all, but no matter what, he can not stop Prof. Wright. Eventually, he quits out of rage, and snaps his ping-pong paddle in half.)

Dr. Dunkelheit: I lost fifty-one dollars and thirty-eight cents on that bet! And I have not known mercy ever since. (Stands up and points into sky.) However! I can not go there myself, for Prof. Wright might recognize me and my horrible man hands. (as he says "horrible man hands" he holds his hands in front of his face, close to the camera. As the camera cuts back and he starts his next line, he puts on gloves.) This calls for assistance! I will need the help of my artificial unintelligence units! Click! Clack! Where are you!

(Camera cuts to Click and Clack's closets, when both open. Click has taken Clack's closet and Clack has taken Click's. I dare you to say that five times fast. For reference, Clack is the taller, happier, slightly more oblivious unit, whereas Click is the short and grumpy one. Bumbling robot minions! It's a trope that has never gone wrong. I want you to name one instance where it has.)

Clack: Good morning boss!

Dr. Dunkelheit: What are you two doing in each others' closets?

Clack: We traded for the night.

Click: I like it this way. It's a whole lot roomier.

Clack: I don't!

Dr. Dunkelheit: No bickering! I have a task for you two to mess up.

Click: (sarcastically) That sure is encouraging.

Dr. Dunkelheit: I need you to go down to that Bunker down there, and find Prof. Wright's lair! He has made some fresh discoveries lately which I need so I can-

Clack: Harness the power of the Dark Universe and use it for your own nefarious schemes so the entire planet will be yours all yours muahahahahahaha?

Dr. Dunkelheit: Really? In my debut episode?

(Cut to the Son of the Fourth Wall, who is an emo teenage boy attending high school for no good reason whatsoever. He feels a sharp pain in his stomach.)

Son of the Fourth Wall: Sometimes... the pain is real... (tear drips down face)

(Cut back to Dr. Dunkelheit's lair)

Dr. Dunkelheit: You two do whatever you can to retrieve what we deserve!

Clack: Okie-dokie!

Click: Is there anything in it for us?

Dr. Dunkelheit: No. (slams door on Click and Clack, sending them outside. Cut to the Bunkest, where Click and Clack are disguised as pizza delivery men.)

Clack: Are you sure this will work?

Click: Trust me, who can resist free pizza?

(Clack rings the doorbell, and Jasmine walks inside.)

Clack: Pizza delivery!

Jasmine: But I didn't order pizza!

Clack: Well, you see, it's umm....

Click: Freezza pizza Friday! Free pizzas delivered straight to your door, even if you didn't want it! (smiles)

Jasmine: Oh, this is great! Free pizza from bumbling robot minions!

Clack: We're not bumbling robot minions, we're pizza delivery men!

Jasmine: ...Who just so happen to be robots.

Click: ...Yeah.

Jasmine: And bumbling.

Clack: If you say so!

Jasmine: And both of you are minions to the big business that is the Pizza industry.

Click: Sure. We'll go with that.

Jasmine: It's okay, I understand your struggle. Here, have a tip, (hands Click and Clack ten dollars) it's not much, but it's the least I can do. Thank you for the free pizza! (Slams door on Click and Clack. Clack's fake mustache is falling off.)

Click: Well that coulda gone better.