Sonic Adventure 8/Story

Wario
Mario goes into the "M" restroom while Wario goes into the "W" restroom, then he gets locked up in jail with Waldo and Pooh for 10 years. He finds a flyer that has a listing for a job opening as an intern for a fat scientist. This flyer was put up by the great hero, Sonic the Hedgehog. It is revealed that the past games in the Sonic the Hedgederp franchise were all a lie from Sonic's point of view. Eggman is actually a criminal while Sonic is a hero who was trying to kill him. After fliing out the flyer, Wario gets the job, and does various missions to take out the Good Guys.

Big the Cat
Big the Cat is fishing peacefully with his friend, Froggy. Froggy gets kidnapped by a r@pist, so Big must go on an epic journey to find him. Along the way, Big makes many friends and teams up with various people, Such as Phantom R (from Rhythm Thief), Phantom R (the person who made this crappy article),  Stone Cold E.T., and Gabe Newell. Big's gameplay is an expansive and epicly designed fishing engine with various DLC.

Pit
One day, Pit is watching random crap from Sky World with Palutena and he sees a horrible increase of Sonic recolors. He is sent out on a mission by Palutena to destroy each and every last one. Ironically, Dark Pit, though being a generic recolor himself, joins Pit on this mission to kill unoriginality.

Eggman
Eggman is sick and tired of Sonic's worthless existence so he figures he must kill him once and for all, with the help of Sanic. Spoiler alert, Sonic finally dies in the end.

Sanic
Sanic is one day going fast after stepping it up, and he notices some advertisement for a crappy game on a GameStop window via a poster. Sanic gets outraged about this, as the game being advertised is a Sonic the Hedgehog one. For years, Sonic games have been ripping off Sanic games in the crappiest ways possible, yet people somehow favored Sonic over Sanic. Sanic teams up with Eggman to defeat Sonic once and for all.

Gamma
Gamma gets revived and blows stuff up.

Final Story
After Megaman gets back up on his feet, Big saves Froggy, Pit murders all the recolors, Sanic & Eggman kill Sonic, and Gamma blows stuff up, Bonnie from Pokemon returns from h3ii in her Super Ulta Mega Generic Prefix form and decides to destory Earth. Megaman, Big, Pit, Sanic, Eggman, and Gamma go into their Super Saiyan forms and murder Bonnie once and for all.