User blog:Zeyphr2012/Fun Times: Powerthirst

Splice: *Sitting upside down on a chair making a .H. face*

TV: splis plz. Bigspore doesn't even exist.

Splice: .H.

(Knock knock)

Splice: huh (Turns towards door)

(Knockknockknockknockknockknockknock) *Door explodes*

Pre: *Is standing in the doorway with a bunch of soda cans* DANG IT SPLICE I TOLD YOU NOT TO LET THE CARPENTER MAKE THE DOOR SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST.

Splice: *Throws himself down the stairway and flops on Pre like a ragdoll from Gmod* *Cocks back up* IT AINT MY FAULT. THE CARPENTER IS SCHTOOPEED.

(The carpenter has wallpaper'd himself over the wall)

Carpenter: I TAKE OFFENSE TO THAT.

Splice: *Rips out the carpenter and throws him into the backyard, where he's eaten by a random cerberus out of nowhere*

Pre:...WHAT.

Splice:...Um...Pre, we already have cans of Mountain Dew in the minifridge.

Pre: Bu-

Splice: And the regular sized fridge.

Pre: ... but but but

Splice: NO BUTS.

Pre:...Alright. *Jumps out of lower torso*

Splice: Oh, ha ha. Very funn-*Lower torso kicks his nuts* PUUUUU

Pre: Oops...I meant to kick your leg...

Splice: *Picks up a can of the unknown soda* What is this? Powerthirst? Haven't I seen this somewhere on the internet lookity box?

Pre: You mean the computer?

Splice: *M.Bison voice* OF COURSE.

Pre: ._.

Splice: Where'd you find this thang?

Pre: A flea market.

-flashback-

Pre: *Getting feasted on by fleas* ARUGHRGHHAHGH WHY DO THEY SELL THINGS IN A PLACE INFESTED BY FLEAS?!

(Flea Man from Castlevania Curse Of Darkness pops up behind her and makes the "Me Gusta" face)

-end flashback-

Splice: dem fleas. *Opens the can*

Pre: Hopefully, nothing bad's gonna go wrong, like that time Gaia drank all the water in the world and then exploded. *Opens can* Cheers. *Clinks can, then starts drinking*

Splice: *Starts drinking*

-5 seconds later-

Pre: AUGHTRRRR MY FREAKIN STOMACH

Splice: I TOLD YOU THIS WAS A BAD IDEA

Pre: What? No you didn't.

Splice: I NEED A BATHROOM. *Crawls to the bathroom and starts to puke, but he pukes out an...egg?* ... (Heavy voice) OH THIS EEZ BAD. *Crawls to the phone and dials 911*

Phone: *beep*

Voice(Ice): Hello?

Splice: Uh...*Pukes another egg* Ice, is it natural for a Split Chao to puke eggs?

Ice: Uh...(Hangs up)

Pre: *Pops up behind Splice* I told you calling Ice wouldn't help.

Splice: What? No you dind't.

Pre: *GASP* SEE?! *Pukes three eggs in succession and they all hit Splice's face*

Splice: THAT'S NOT FUNNY! *Pukes egg* NOT FUNNY AT ALL!

Pre: HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE? YOU'RE A MAN, SPLICE, AND IT'S TIME YOU STATED ACTING LIKE ONE.

Splice: NO IT'S *Pukes egg* NOT!

Pre: Looks like I gotta do THIS again. *Jumps off lower torso, but dozens of eggs fly out*

Splice: AW COME ON PRE, THAT'S CHEATING! *Pukes more eggs*

Pre: Well, looks like there's one thing to do. *Hops back on torso* Splice, arch yourself.

Splice: Why?

Pre: *Smacks Splice real hard with the flat end of a sword, causing him to endlessly puke eggs*

-A few minutes later*

Splice: *Finishes puking eggs and breathes heavily for a few seconds*

Pre: Are you done?

Splice: Yeah...yeah, I think I'm all right...

Pre: Good, because we have to clean all these eggs.

(Gaia peeks through the doorway)

Gaia: Splice, I'm home! (Notices all the eggs, and then Splice and Pre standing in the middle of them all and then does the ._. face) I...see you're busy. *Leaves*

Splice:...Well, these eggs couldn't possibly be fertilized somehow, right?

(Bump)

Pre: Splice, did you just bump my leg?

Splice: Just now? No...

(Wriggle)

Splice: Pre, did you just rub me...all the way up my leg?

Pre: No...?

(Crack)

Pre: Splice, was that you?

Splice: Not now, no.

(One of the eggs breaks, revealing an odd-looking Splice/Pre hybrid)

Hybrid: Nyu?

...

Pre: HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE?!

Splice: Well, at least that's the only one fertile...RIGHT?!

(One by one, the eggs hatch, which either contains a smaller version of Splice, Pre, or a Splice/Pre hybrid)

Splice: But-but-but I'm not ready to be a daddy!

(One of the little Chao farts)

(All the others start crying at once)

Splice: THIS IS CRAZY! (Picks up one of the little Splices) I CAN'T HANDLE 800 LITTLE SPLICES, PRES, OR RANDOM SPLICE/PRE HYBRIDS AT ONCE!

Pre: (Lifting a crying smaller Pre)  H-HOW DO YOU TURN OFF THIS THING?!

Splice: Beats me. Did Gaia happen to get any diapers by any chance?

Pre: WHY IN THE NAME OF CHAOS WOULD GAIA GET DIAPERS?!

Splice: (Flat) Because we're all a bunch of babies.

Pre: Okay, that was quite witty. *One of the tiny Pres rips off her arm* MY ARM! MY BEAUTIFUL ARM!

Splice: How about we try giving them some of that Powerthirst?

Pre: SPLICE, ARE YOU NUTS?!

Splice: *Is an acorn* Yep.

-A few seconds later, they put out a bowl of Powerthirst, which they all drink out of and power-run all the way to Kenya, except for one of the hybrids-

Splice:...I may never drink Powerthirst again...

Pre: Ditto to that...

(Nudge)

Splice: Pre, did you nidge me?

Pre: No... *Looks behind her and sees the hybrid*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52wtxeL2IaE

Hybrid: *Cute face*

Splice+Pre: *Looking back at the hybrid*

Hybrid: *Cute face*

Splice: *Sets the hybrid down on an abandoned kayak floating down the river into the sun*

Hybrid: *Looks back at Splice and Pre ans waves at them*

Splice+Pre: *Waves back*

(Shot of the kayak floating down the river)

...

(Giant fish eats the kayak)

Splice: EEE! WHAT THE WHAT!?

(Fade to the doorless apartment)

Gaia: Splice, have you taken care of your little egg prblem yet? *Steps on a can of Powerthirst* Huh? WHat's this? Powerthirst? *Stares at the can for a few seconds, then starts drinking it* Nothing could possibly go wrong wit-*Infinitely spews eggs*

-END-