Steamed Hams but it's Loud House

Here is a Loud House version of Steamed Hams

Steamed Hams (Loud House Version)

(Carol comes to the Loud House as she rings the bell. Lori then opens the door to greet Carol)

Carol: Well, Lori, I made it- despite your directions.

Lori: Ah. Carol. Welcome. - I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon.

Carol: Yeah.

(Carol sits at the table while Lori goes into the kitchen, only to see that the oven is steaming. She gasp and runs to the oven and sees that the ham she was cooking is burning on fire)

Lori: Oh, egads! My roast is ruined. (Lori then sees a Burpin Burgers restaurant out through the window) But what if I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? (Lori gets an idea) Delightfully devilish, Lori.

(Lori heads out through the window, only for her to stop when Carol came in and saw that she is about to go out through the window)

Singers: "Lori with her crazy explanations, Carol has to be the one to judge her, when she hears Lori's lame exaggerations There'll be trouble in town tonight!"

Carol: Lori!

Lori: Carol, I was just- uh, just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise. Care to join me?

Carol: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Lori?

Lori: Uh- Oh. That isn't smoke. It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmm. Steamed clams.

(Carol leaves then Lori is relieved that Carol is gone then he finally goes out through the window and heads off to Burpin Burger. Then she comes back as he comes with the hamburgers and sets them on the table)

Lori: Carol, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering hamburgers.

Carol: I thought we were having steamed clams.

Lori: D'oh, no. I said steamed hams. That's what I call hamburgers.

Carol: You call hamburgers steamed hams?

Lori: Yes. It's a regional dialect.

Carol: Uh-huh. Uh, what region?

Lori: Uh, upstate New York.

Carol: Really. Well, I'm from Utica, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed hams."

Lori: Oh, not in Utica. No. It's an Albany expression.

Carol: I see.

(Carol takes a hamburger and takes a bite out of it)

Carol: You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Burpin Burger.

Lori: Oh, no. Patented Loud burgers. Old family recipe.

Carol: For steamed hams.

Lori: Yes.

Carol: Yes. And you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled.

Lori: Ye- You know, the- One thing I should- - Excuse me for one second.

Carol: Of course.

(Lori comes to check the oven and comes out where it is shown behind the door that the oven has setted up a fire)

Lori: Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped.

Carol: Yes. I should be- Good Lord! What is happening in there?

Lori: Aurora borealis.

Carol: Uh- Aurora borealis at this time of year at this time of day in this part of the country localized entirely within your kitchen?

Lori: Yes.

Carol: May I see it?

Lori: No.

(Lori and Carol walk out of the Loud House)

Rita: (off screen) Lori! The house is on fire!

Lori: No, Mom. It's just the northern lights.

Carol: Well, Lori, you are an odd gal but I must say you steam a good ham.

(Carol walks away to get back to her home with the fire still burning the Loud House)

Rita: (off screen) Help! Help!

(Carol turns around but to see Lori lifting her thumb up that everything is ok. Then Carol continues to walk ahead)