Dinner Hall Announcement

"Everyone stop eating. Stop eating and look at me. At me, Darren. I'm not on the ceiling, am I?" "Sean, is that a potato you're putting in your pocket? Well, I think it would be a good idea if you took it out again before it gets mashed." "Now then, everybody - and I mean everybody, Susan - dinner times are just not good enough. When I came in here..." "Gemma, I said "stop eating" and that means stop eating anything - even the water beaker." "When I came in here I just couldn't believe my eyes. Is it really such a big deal that Mrs. Gallagher has made chocolate custard?" "I can't believe, Stephen, that your mum lets you put chocolate custard on your chips but that's what you were doing here." "And there were two girls - no, don't look round, eyes this way - I'm not going to say who they were. They know quite well who I'm talking about." "There were two girls who decided that Mrs. Gallagher's chocoalte custard was really lipstick." "Rasheda - I know you're very proud of your Superman Lunch Box. It's not a bird. It's not a plane. It's a lunch box. And lunch boxes don't fly, Rasheda. They stay on the table in front of you. Hold it there." "If I hear the rustle of another crisp packet I will ban all crisps forever. Which reminds me... "It's no secret, is it, that if you put a crisp packet on the floor and stamp on it, it makes a bang." "So, football team, it's nice to see you all getting on so well together but I'm telling you now there won't be a football team if you try your "let's jump on eleven crisp bags in a row" joke again." "But today - Darren, good - I've come off the ceiling but I'm not outside halfway up the tree either." "Eyes this way, please. And today, you know what I'm going to say next, don't you? Yes, Zoe?" "No, I'm not talking about the finger-nail you found in the ketchup. I'm talking about the noise. I said to you in assembly that it's OK for you to talk." "But William, Abdul, Melyvn, singing "Come on you reds" isn't talking. I'm also talking about the way we eat." "Susan, tell me straight, did I, or did I not see you sitting down with a dinner that consisted of five baked beans and a chip?" "Yes, I thought so. You must eat more, my dear. These dinners are very special and Mrs. Gallagher works very hard to make sure that the food is good for you and tastes nice. So eat up, and eat more. And, Mark, that doesn't include you." "Yes, Warren? No, that's true, none of the staff do eat school dinners. We each have special reasons for that." "Mark, where Mr. Holmes goes at lunch time and what he eats or drinks is nothing to do with you." "OK, so your dad goes there too but that's between Mr. Holmes and your dad. Come and see me later, will you?" "Those of you who bring sandwiches in can I just remind you again that dinner time is not market dy? I'm not sure, Samantha, that it was fair of you to swap a Milky Way for one Polo Mint..." "No, Samantha, I'm not getting into it now - OK, so it was three Polo Mints but it's not the - OK, OK, so it was half a Milky Way - but I can't have this kind of - OK, OK, OK, so it was three Polo Mints and a Flying Saucer..." "...but I can't have this kind of business going on in school. Yes, Rasheda, I know his real name is Clark Kent." "And so to the matter of clearing up. Darren, I'm not in the cupboard. You know the routine: leftovers in the slop bucket, knives and forks in the bucket of water, plates on the pile, beakers on the trolley." "Is that so very difficult? Why is it that every day Mrs. Gallagher finds leftovers in the beakers and beakers in the slop bucket." "Could you please make a special effort to get that right - the beakers we can clean out but the farmer who gets the slops says that the pigs don't like beakers. Right now, everyone: special effort and enjoy your dinner."