Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Random

This is a RANDOM PARDOY that only Mochlum can edit or else I WILL DO SOMETHING VERY... UM... BAD AND... SCARY! This is more based on the books cause they ROCK!

Chapter One: Life Sucks
(Dursley house, evening)

Narrator: Harry Potter is some guy who lives with his meanie aunt and uncle and cousin. He is a wizard (DA DA DA) but he doesn't know. He is currently living in a closet but since they live in England it's a cupboard. Maybe it's not because it's England, but it's maybe because he's a cup. I dunno. Let's just start the story.

Harry Potter: Life sucks.

Meanie Cousin: STUPID COUSIN WAKE UP IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!

Harry Potter: I wish my life was better. I at least wish someone send me a letter. *letter flies in* OOH, FOR ME?

Meanie Uncle: *comes in* NO! NOT - YOUR - LETTER! *rips it*

Harry Potter: Okay, I'll just open this other one. *pulls the other one out*

Meanie Uncle: WHAT? *rips that one then storms off*

Meanie Aunt: *walks in* Mails here!

Meanie Uncle: AAAH! *steals all the mail and rips it*

Meanie Aunt: My coupon book was in that stack!

Harry Potter: Another letter! Yay! *pulls one out from under the couch*

Meanie Uncle: WHAT? *jumps to couch and opens up the cushions and a bunch of letters pop out*

Meanie Cousin: WHAT'S HAPPENING?!

Meanie Aunt: LETTERS ARE EVERYWERE! *looks at oven and letters shoot out*

Letters: *pop out of washing machine, sink, Meanie Uncle's pants, the piano, Dudley's mouth, Petunia's ears, YOU*

Harry Potter: This must of costed alot in postage stamps.

Meanie Uncle: WE MUST LEAVE! THEY'RE AFTER US!

(Dursley car, night)

Meanie Uncle: Do you have the map to our time share, Meanie Wife?

Meanie Aunt: It's in the glovebox. *opens the glovebox and letters shoot out*

Meanie Cousin: AAAH!

Meanie Uncle: NO! LET'S TAKE PLANES!

(airplane, night)

Flight Attendant: We shall be arriving in Tokyo in 6 hours.

Harry Potter: Why Tokyo? I don't even speak japanese.

Meanie Uncle: CAUSE YOUR OPINION AIN'T MATTER TO US! And also, the longer the flight, the more peanuts you get. *opens peanut bag but letters fly out*

Meanie Cousin: AAAH!

Meanie Uncle: NO! LET'S TAKE BOATS!

(Dursley private boat, night)

Meanie Uncle: They can never find us here!

Meanie Cousin: ...too...much...soda... *burps out a bunch of letters*

Meanie Aunt: AAAH!

Harry Potter: *snigger*

Meaine Uncle: HURRY, TO SHORE!

(Old abondon shack, night)

Meanie Uncle: I think we're finally safe.

Hagrid: *barges in* Ello, muggles!

Meanie Uncle, Aunt, and Cousin: AAAH! *run off*

Hagrid: Wanna be a wizard (DA DA DA) and come with me to Pigfarts Academy of Warlocks?

Harry Potter: I have no idea who you are, but OKAY! I'm a wizard?

Hagrid: Yeah, you're parents died because of some bad guy and you can learn about MAGIC! *waves his fingers* OOOOooooOOOOooooOOOOooooh!

Harry Potter: Okay. *becomes a pixely Mario-like dude* LET'SE GO! *runs off with Hagrid*

Chapter Two: I Take It Back, Life DOESN'T Suck
Harry Potter: Where the heck are we going?

Hagrid: Horozont Alley! Where wizards (DA DA DA) go on shopping sprees. We have to go through the Leaky Cup! *goes through place*

Tom the Inkeeper: Ello, Hagrid, interested in the new soup we have? *soup bowl explodes* It's so good, it explodes!

Hagrid: No thanks, I'm just taking Harry to buy stuff like popsicles.

Tom the Inkeeper: OMG, IT'S HARRY POTTER!

Planter Person: DID SOMEBODY SAY POTTER?

Barber Person: DID SOMEBODY SAY HAIRY?

Wizard Person: DID SOMEBODY SAY HARRY POTTER?

Hagrid: I DID!

Wizard Peoples: O - M - G! IT'S HARRY POTTER!

Wizard Persons: It is so amazing to meet- *faints*

Professor Squirrel: I-it i-is s-so a-amazing t-to m-meet y-you! I-I a-am a-a a-admirer o-of y-you!

Harry Potter: What the -

Wizard Persons: WATCH YOUR LANG- I mean- My hero!

Harry Potter: Hagrid, what in the name of wizardry is going on?

Hagrid: I'll tell you later. Let's go SHOPPING!

Harry Potter and Hagrid: *squeal like girls* LET'S GO! *walk into Horozont Alley and go to Gringotts and walk out with lots of gallons of galleons.* OMG, I AM RICH! *walk in and then immediately out with a bunch of bags* I LOVE SHOPPING! *go into Ollivander's*

Hagrid: Time to get a WAND!

Harry Potter: OMG! Then will I be able to do spells to conjure pie?

Hagrid: I hope so! I'm in the mood for Key Lime.

Harry Potter: Mr. Oly-vander, are you here?

Ollivander: *runs in* YESSH, YESH I AM! TIME FOR MAGIK WANDS!

Harry Potter and Hagrid: YAY!

Ollivander: Okay, how about THIS WAND? *pulls out a wand*

Harry Potter: :o OOOOH, SHINY WAND! *gets distracted*

Ollivander: That's not it! *takes it back and pulls out another*

Harry Potter: This is coolio! *waves it which cause the entire planet to blow up*

Ollivander: O_O That's not it! *pulls out another* HOW ABOUT THIS?

Harry Potter: *waves it which cause Hagrid to barf* That's not it.

Ollivander: Hmm, how about THIS? *pulls out another*]

Harry Potter: *waves it and he becomes all poweful-looking* YAY, I FEEL POWER!!!

Ollivander: Good for you! WE FOUND IT! NOW BUY IT OR I'LL KILL YA!

Harry Potter: Okey dokey PLOOKY! YIPEE! *buys it*

Harry and Hagrid: Let's go. *walk out but fall through nothingness. The Earth did explode. They happen to somehow land in King's Cross Station*

Hagrid: Hm. Well, here's your ticket, I GOTTA GO! *disappears into thin air but his clothes are left behind*

Harry Potter: I'd hate to be wherever he disappeared to.

Chapter Three: Platform 3 9/4. 5 1/4 to be exact!
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Chapter Four: I'M WIZARD STUDENT GUY, AND YOUR NOT HA!
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Chapter Five: I'M HAVIN' FUN LEARNIN TO BE A WIZARD AND I AM ONE AND YOU AIN'T!
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Chapter Six: Some SCARY Hall Place
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Chapter Seven: A Very Yucky Bad Guy
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Chapter Eight: I BELIEVE I CAN FLY!
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Chapter Nine: Snape did it!
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Chapter Ten: I layed an egg! But why is it brown- OH, THAT'S NOT AN EGG AT ALL! Speaking of eggs, Hagrid has a dragon one.
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Chapter Eleven: Fighting the Badder Guy Then the First Bad Guy (You know, that yucky one from Chapter Chapter 7) Oh shoot, I just broke the fourth wall.
TBA

Chapter Twelve: THE FINAL CHAPTER (DA DA DA)
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