The Art of Whale-fu

Step 1
First go to teh local gym and get teh biggest muscles possible then get fat suck all the fat and muscle out out it in a tasty crunchie and enjoy.

Step 2
Ignore the first step and just get a monkey and a typewriter to make you a better guide and while your at it make me the biggest bacon strip in the land.

Step 3
WELCOME TO HOGWARTS