When you wait for the cable guy...

...you get bored.

When you get bored, you look out the window.

When you look out the window, you see things you shouldn't see.

When you see things you shouldn't see, you vanish.

When you vanish, you fake your own death.

When you fake your own death, you dye your eyebrows.

When you dye your eyebrows, you go to your own funeral as a guy named Phil.

....

Don't attend your own funeral as a guy named Phil. And change your cable company.