The Great Court Case of Original Character Taste

An audience was building up in the court. Meryl the mermaid stood at the altar, and cautiously said...

"The honourable Discordium court led by Judge Miroir is now in session. All rise."

The audience stood up. KirbiMiroir walked into the scene.

"Ladies and gentlemen," he said, "we are here today because Mr. Zombonia Brainz is trying to get away with suggesting that a sentient creature can have a design which does not show any sign of living. Lawyers of the prosecution, please give your statement."

Sagume Kishin and Eiki Shiki enter through the left hand side.

"Yes, your honour." Sagume said. "Standing as we are today, I, alongside Eiki here, will show you all that sentient appearance is a necessity to good character design."

Eiki then said, "We hope to be able to punish Brainz for his bizarre thoughts, just as we did when he complained about my punishments for the dead."

Miroir turns to the two. "Thank you, Miss Kishin and Miss Shiki. Now, we shall hear from the defence."

The Warner Siblings, all dressed as lawyers, suddenly ran in and said...

"It's a balloon, let Brainz live!"

There was some murmuring from the audience. However, Meryl didn't notice, and didn't have the chance to cry out "Silence in the court!". At this point, Mai Teireida and Clownpiece, the defence attorneys, entered from the right.

"Thank you, your honour." Said Mai. "We are here today to prove to our audience that, while sentient things should certainly appear sentience, Brainz can still be entitled to his own thoughts."

Clownpiece then said, "Unfair punishment is a rather considerable problem nowadays. I'm hoping that Brainz does not have to put up with anything unjust for his actions."

"Thank you." Miroir turned to face Mai. "Miss Teireida, would you like to bring in your first witness?"

"Yes, your honour." she said. "I am going to bring in Hibaru Yaju, a former general of the Nebulox organisation."

Hibaru walked into the court. As she did, Makomi entered, accompanied by two lawyers of his own.

Mai spoke to Hibaru. "Miss Yaju, what are your thoughts on sentience?"

Hibaru said, "What do I think? Well, I think that something's appearance should show its identity. Therefore, if something's sentient, it needs a face and the like to prove this."

Suddenly, Brainz's voice echoed through the courtroom.

"Hold on, I'm taking a pic as we speak."

"Good." Mai said, in response to this. She then turned back to Hibaru. "Now, Miss Yaju, should one be punished for thinking that something sentient should not appear sentient?"

Moon Snail walked into the scene and began to speak.

"Your honor, I would like to mention that this is Random-ness Wiki, and nothing here has to make sense. After all, there have be-"

"OBJECTION!" Cried a voice from outside. "While Moon Snail may have a good point, it is important to understand that his opinions do not matter in the slightest, and should not be taken seriously in any context."

Before Moon Snail could react, Brainz burst in, holding up some questionable art on the supposed anatomy of the Wet Balloon. Hibaru completely ignored these circumstances, and answered Mai's question.

"No. Not everything with sentient needs a proper face. There are quite a lot of creatures like this, such as Blade Knights from Planet Popstar."

"For more information on Blade Knights and their appearance," Mai said, "please see Exhibit A."

If one looked to Mai's side of the courtroom, they would see a framed photograph of a Blade Knight.

"OBJECTION!" said Imu, one of Makomi's two lawyers. "If that's the case, then none of our opinions matter!"

Flametail, one of Moon Snail's defence attorneys, began to speak with a self-important attitude. "In fact, some real life creatures are known to not have faces. For example, take the Sand Dollar. All it has is an orifice for breathing and for mating, but it still is a living creature."

Ivy Fox then dashed into the room and cried, "OBJECTION! This is all stupid and we should stop!"

It was at this point that Pixel entered the room, walking straight to Makomi, who, in response, gave Pixel a briefing on what was going on.

"Overruled, Ivy!" Miroir said, for the first time since Hibaru entered the room. "We need to keep this court case going until we come to a proper conclusion!" He turned to Mai once again. "Miss Teireida, any further questions?"

"No, your honour."

"Would anyone else like to talk to Miss Yaju here?"

"OBJECTION!" Brainz cried. "I, in fact, have a picture of Wet Balloon myself!" He waved the picture like a flag, but everyone ignored him once again.

"Yes, your honour." Sagume said, turning to Hibaru. "Miss Yaju, what do you think balloons should look like?"

Musashi, Makomi's other lawyer, took out a picture of a set of non-sentient party balloons, as if to try and answer Sagume's question herself.

"As in... sentient balloons?" Hibaru said. "Well, they should ideally look like this..."

Hibaru took out a picture of a blue-and-grey balloon with two eyes, floating in the air by spraying bubbles downwards.

Flametail, meanwhile, continued speaking. "So, in fact, it isn't completely far-fetched for Wet Balloon to be faceless and still sentient. Most faceless creatures may be aquatic, but since Wet Balloon is a water elemental, it would make sense for them to be a water dweller."

Brainz, meanwhile, addressed Hibaru, saying, "OBJECTION! Wet Balloon was modelled after a ZEPPELIN!"

"Well, on your note, sir, there are some zeppelin-like sentient balloons out there..." Hibaru paused for a second. "...but they're all colourless. And they all have a proper face. So there."

"I present Exhibit B!" Brainz said, taking out a picture of a Massive Ornery Air Blimp.

Meanwhile, Clownpiece addressed Miroir. "Objection, your honour! Miss Yaju is being sassy towards the prosecutor!"

Miroir stared at Hibaru, and sighed. "Where is this going, Miss Yaju?" he said.

Brainz was now talking about the exhibit. "Compare Wet Balloon with another sentient blimp, MOAB. The two look very similar..."

"Your honour, I feel the need to-" Hibaru stopped talking to Miroir, hearing what Brainz said. She turned to face him, saying, "Just so you know, sir, MOABs are mechanical beings."

"There it is again!" Clownpiece cried out. "How can someone be a good witness when they're this sassy?"

"OBJECTION!" Brainz said, "Where's the evidence that MOAB is mechanical?"

Meanwhile, Moon Snail was speaking to Miroir. "Your honor, I don't feel so good..." Then, suddenly, he faded out of sight.

Eiki Shiki then piped in. "Exhibit C, I believe."

"Let's see it."

Eiki pulled out a laptop, linked to a page on monkeysandplants.

"In the last headcanon I saw - the judge's one, no less - a scientist named Johnny Bloon created Bloons out of crystals using science."

Wakko Warner was now speaking to Miroir. "Can we break for lunch?"

"Yes, Wakko, you may take a break." Miroir said. "We shall let you know how things are progressing when we resume." The Warner siblings, at this note, began to leave.

"OBJECTION!" Brainz said once again. "That is merely a headcanon - not a fact."

"Overruled!" Hibaru said in reaction. "All exhibits are proper evidence!"

There was a brief silence. Mai stared at Hibaru, tapping her foot.

"Miss Yaju, you do realise that witnesses can't overrule situations, correct?"

Hibaru stared at Mai quizzically.

"Yeah," Flametail said. "I could use a bit of a lunch break."

"I'd like some lunch," Ivy said, even though she was yet to have any proper input in this court case.

"Alright." Miroir said. "You may both take your lunch break."

While Ivy walked out of the court, Flametail simply ate a single watermelon as swiftly as he could. "Alright, your honour. I am ready to continue." Miroir was evidently shocked by what he just saw.

Meanwhile, Sagume turned to Hibaru. "Miss Yaju, I have another question. Where's your proof that this "Wet Balloon" is sentient?"

Hibaru then turned to Sagume, and said, "Well, I've been seeing a lot of those sentient balloons around places recently. All of them could talk and understand each other well - and by the way, they all had eyes. Two each."

Hibaru was likely going to say something else, but Makomi interrupted her.

"Okay guys, please stop arguing about someone's character. They're not your character. It's Brainz's character and he's pleased to do whatever he wants with it."

Pixel chipped in as well.

"SERIOUSLY. It's BRAINZ'S character. Let Brainz do what he wants! I'm already-"

Mai banged her hand on the table, then faced Miroir.

"Objection, your honour! The other lawyers are going on a tangent!"

Everyone was going wild at this point. Loads of people talking all at once, and most of them demanding for the court case to stop already. Miroir banged a gavel hard on the table, and Meryl cried out for silence in the court. Then, just like that, the talking ceased.

"Okay." Miroir said. "Everyone, court is adjourned."

Makomi simply responded with, "Oh, thank god."

Miroir continued speaking. "We will get to this matter at a later date.

Then, Meryl stood up, as a mermaid on dry land normally does, and said...

"All rise. You may leave the court."

The people all walked out of the building. As soon as he stepped out, Flametail said...

"Case dismissed. Bring in the dancing lobsters!"

Suddenly, a parade of dancers, most of them lobsters, came in, shocking all the other people as they left the court. Hibaru then cried out,

"Hey! What's going on!"

"It's over already!" Imu snapped.

Flametail said, "If we do this again, I'm not joining, to be honest." It was clear that he was emotionally exhausted from the events in the court case.

"Yes, it's adjourned..." Hibaru said, matter-of-factly. "...but why is everyone going insane?"

Flametail then walked off and placed ramen noodles in a star shape. In doing so, Moon Snail was suddenly revived. He then said,

"Thanks, Flamey. Now, this is getting dumb, so I'll just skedaddle." At this point, both Flametail and Moon Snail swiftly ran off into the sunrise.

Hibaru, meanwhile, was trying to explain what she meant by "everyone going insane". "Talk about lobsters dancing and the king of Hoshido dancing and something about the word "no"..."

"Because KIRBI IS POLICING BRAINZ'S OC!!" Musashi's voice could have been heard in Boston at this volume.

Brainz then quietly said, "To be fair, I do deserve it."

However, people were going on a complete riot, trying to carry on Musashi's point. However, they all stopped when Miroir spoke next.

"Slow down, everyone. Let Brainz speak. Brainz says that he deserves to be criticised. Is this true? Is this really what I'm hearing?"

"I am the one with the badly made ghost turtle OC." Brainz said. Makomi turned to him and said, in response,

"I thought the OC was a joke."

"It is, but still..."

"Don't feel bad for it."

"SOCC is proof of my failure at creating actually good characters..."

Miroir turned to Brainz, saying, "I don't know, SOCC could have easily turned into something very good..."

Brainz spoke once again.

"If something like this happens again I might just wipe the balloon from existence. It seems to just cause problems."

Pixel then ran over to Brainz, and said, "No!! Wet balloon is good!! You're just being really hard on yourself..."

"To be fair, I'm kind of responsible for all this..." Miroir said. "...what with me being pretty dang hard on Brainz..."

"Because you think everything must be logical in some way!" Pixel said, almost, but not quite interrupting Miroir.

"...hosting a court case for fictional characters for the sake of this..."

As Miroir said this last sentence, Moon Snail suddenly jumped in through the wall of the court, despite having ran away from it not long ago.

"Brainz, please stop being hard on yourself and your creations." He said. "You're awesome and we love you."

Miroir, meanwhile, was still talking to Pixel.

"Yes, Pixel, I do think everything must be logical."

Moon Snail piped in by saying, "In that case, the Random-ness Wiki isn't the best place to be, as illogicality is king around here."

"Quoting Chapter 1 of the Multiverse Handguide," Brainz said, ""In the Multiverse, reality is a lie.""

Ace turned to Miroir and smiled. "I think having fictional characters doing a case about it is the most Random-ness Wiki thing i can think of." he said.

"Yeah, that and name trends." Brainz chipped in.

Pixel was next to speak. "To be honest, it sounds like something that would happen in the Bunkest..."

"It is." Ace said. Miroir turned to him, and said...

"What, the court case?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah." Pixel said. "Should that be an episode in the Bunkest... the fictional characters have a court case on something I don't know..."

Miroir smiled, thinking about the whole idea. "Honestly, that could make for a pretty hilarious episode..."

And so, the Discordium court case came to a close, with no clear conclusion as to whether Brainz was guilty or innocent.