Moon Speech Parodies

Someone had to.

...When Masato Osuki acted like a dick to his mom
'I'VE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT, MASATO "DICKHEAD" OSUKI IS A BITCH ASS MOTHERFUCKER HE PISSED ON MY FUCKING WIFE. THAT'S RIGHT, HE TOOK HIS HUMAN FUCKING QUILL-Y DICK OUT AND HE PISSED ON MY FUCKING WIFE AND HE SAID HIS DICK WAS THIS BIG AND I SAID "THAT'S DISGUSTING." SO I'M MAKING A CALL-OUT POST ON MY TWITTER DOT COM. MASATO "DICKHEAD" OSUKI YOU GOT A SMALL DICK, IT'S THE SIZE OF THIS WALNUT EXCEPT WAY SMALLER, AND GUESS WHAT? HERE'S WHAT MY DONG LOOKS LIKE. THAT'S RIGHT BABY, ALL POINTS, NO QUILLS, NO PILLOWS, LOOK AT THAT IT LOOKS LIKE TWO BALLS AND A BONG! HE FUCKED MY WIFE, SO GUESS WHAT? I'M GONNA FUCK THE EARTH! THAT'S RIGHT, THIS IS WHAT YOU GET! MY SUPER LASER PISS! EXCEPT I'M NOT GONNA PISS ON THE EARTH. I'M GONNA GO HIGHER. I'M PISSING ON THE MOON! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT! YOU HAVE 23 HOURS UNTIL THE PISS DROPLETS HIT THE FUCKING EARTH, NOW GET OUT OF MY FUCKING SIGHT BEFORE I PISS ON YOU TOO'

When he was told to diss on Dragon Ball Super
I've come to make an annoucement. *ahem* 'DRAGON BALL SUPER IS A BITCH ASS MOTHERFUCKER, IT RUINED THE FUCKING TIMELINE, ONE DAY IT SHOWED UP IN MY TIMELINE AND FUCKED IT UP AND I SAID "THAT'S TERRIBLE WRITING!" SO I'M WRITING A CALL OUT ON MY TWITTER DOT COM: DRAGON BALL SUPER YOU RUINED THE TIMELINE, YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE AFTER THE DRAGON BALL GT SAGA, NOT BEFORE THE DRAGON BALL Z BEFORE THE BUU SAGA, IT FUCKED UP THE TIMELINE, BUT GUESS WHAT? I'LL FUCK IT UP AND TEAR IT APART, FOR THE SAKE OF THE FANS!'

When Marie Poppo stole his victory on 100% Orange Juice
I've come to make an announcement: Marie Poppo's a bitch-ass motherfucker, she pissed on my fucking wife. That's right, she carefully aimed out her coochie and she pissed on my fucking wife, and she said her luck was "this big", and I said "that's disgusting," so I'm making a callout post on my Twitter.com: Marie Poppo, you've got a stupid look, It's the look of this rat except WAY uglier. And guess what? Here's what my luck looks like: that's right baby, all points, no cards, no bad rolls— look at that, it looks like two 7 rolls and a big bang. She fucked my wife, so guess what, I'm gonna fuck the EARTH. That's right, this is what you get: MY SUPER LASER PISS!! Except I'm not gonna piss on the Earth, I'm gonna go higher; I'm pissing ON THE MOON! How do you like that, Obama? I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT! You have twenty-three hours before the piss drrrrroplllllllets hit the fucking Earth, now get outta my fucking sight, before I piss on you too!