Funky's Eatery

Since the earliest days of Funky's Eatery, we have been serving costumers the best food their money can buy.

History
The founder of Funky's Eatery,  مرد بد بو (Funky), was an immigrant from Iran who fled after the start of the Iranian Revolution. Because he didn't want to be the last rat to jump ship, he immigrated to the United States in a stolen Vietnam People's Air Force L-19 (previously captured from South Vietnam).

When he landed at Hopedale Industrial Park Airport, he crashed his plane into the grass. He soon began to make burgers from wood, chocolates, and wall plaster.

"They were rough at first," recalls Funky, "but soon everyone was devouring them. I made a recipe for it and decided to make a career out of spreading the merits of insane and crazy burgers and other insane and crazy foods"

Soon Funky opened his first establishment (later purchased and converted into a pizza parlor) in the most low-costing shopping plaza spot he could afford.

"The building was slightly smaller than the worshipping temples.", says Funky, "I figured people would be flocking to such a weird establishment." However, when the customer base didn't emerge, Funky soon moved to large accommodations.

Sadly, Funky soon had to sell his establishment to his three only customers because he irreparably injured his back pushing a fryer into place at the new building (across the street from the local nuclear power plant).

"I hated to sell them the place, and at first I didn't like the menu changes that the new owners made," noted Funky, "but the candy pizza really grows on you."

Big Funky


We still get customers coming into our restaurant, hoping to consume a warm, delicious, crazy burger made with pure random-ness.

Apparently, most people are under the impression that the name of our restaurant has something to do with what we pride ourselves in making. We find this funny.

Bacon


Our bacon looks deceptively like real bacon. Heh.

Our specially-made “bacon” are only bacon in the sense that they are made from Beggin Strips and modified to be artificially flavored, crunchable, and colored, and, if you are hungry enough, you could eat one.

While creating the “bacon” recipe, we made an important discovery: anything can taste good if it has enough grease on it. Grease is stocked plentifully on each table, which contributes wonderfully to the bacon experience.

Also, on each table you will find two five-gallon jugs: one is grease; the other we have determined is grease that tastes vaguely of plums, after taking a vote. Always, grease can make our bacon taste as good as any other.

Candy Pizza
Have you gone on Club Penguin and discovered the Candy Pizza? Then you have a basic idea of what our candy pizza is like.

Klasky Csupo


We know Klasky is dead, but the great tasting Klasky Csupo is great for the scary logo fan.

Fried Chicken
Our fried chicken is made from the same recipe as our franchise company uses for their KFC franchises.