Thread:TechnologyPookie/@comment-30357310-20180906215609/@comment-28445106-20180906223451

Johnathan, excuse me, Johnathan? I am acknowledging you with two utterances of the name I have given you upon your birth in expectation of an answer or a response from you.

Yes father? You have stumbled upon me in the middle of the night in a time when I am no doubt supposed to sleep. May I inquire as to what you request of me?

While I have been absent from the kitchen and have not been actively supervising you, have you been consuming a disaccharide of glucose and fructose, intaking it into your body and undergoing the process of hydrolysis in the process of digestion?

Truly father, I am shocked and appalled that you would assume such a thing, that I would commit such an infraction of the house rules of my very own father. Though brevity may be the soul of wit, I am afraid I have been shocked witless, and must profusely decline any such accusations of me consuming this very such glucose.

I am distrusting of your motives, as I have caught you stealthily walking around this household, and I have observed that you have been holding a sugar jar in your hands, as well as the cabinet in which that contains the sugar being partially empty. Have you, by any chance, been deceiving me this entire time, has all of the dialogue beforehand upon our encounter been falsified information?

No father, you may trust me, I am not lying to you, I have said it once and I will say it once again. I am afraid the words may come out empty, as I am simply emphasizing the same point over and over again, but it is a necessary sin in order to get my point across. I am not lying, no father, I am not lying.

That is it, my suspicion has reached its peak, and I will not delay judgement any longer. I command you right now to unhinge your jaws and unveil the contents of your mouth, tongue and throat to me so that I may affirm as to whether you have been lying all this time, or if you have been telling the truth, in which that case I will be deeply ashamed.

You have unveiled my terrible secret, though I find it amusing, so I will use my vocal chords to produce sound waves that to the human ear are perceived as "laughing".