How Lord Voldemort Stole Christmas

Act 1
The wizards of Hogwarts and Hogsmeade did cheering,

For Christmas was here and nobody was fearing,

The upcoming war between wizards and muggles.

But up in a tree, ol' You-Know-Who settles.

Everyone's theory on him was real different,

But they never could pick up his gross scent,

For he hated the Holidays, especially Christmas,

He hates Hannukah more, but that already passed us.

Voldemort hated the twenty-fifth so much,

"I must create an end to this horrible such!"

"But how would you do this?" Petigrew said.

Voldemort then gained an idea in his head.

So he ordered Peter to turn into a rat,

Then glued on some antlers then threw him down SPLAT.

He pulled out his old brooms from his Hogwarts years,

And cut them into wood planks using some real sharp shears.

He used the planks to make a huge sled.

"Time to fill all the children with dread!"

He put on a Santa jacket and hopped on the tobbagon,

Ordered Petigrew to go and soon they were to be gone.

Act 2
Voldemort Claus then landed in Hogwarts,

"Time to juice Christmas into a small squirt!"

(SONG)

You're a mean one, Voldemort.

You're as loveable as spare lint!

You're as pale as Edward Cullen 

And that's not a compliment, Voldemooooort.

You're an ugly goblin with a Grawp-sized big wart!

Your a monster, Voldemort.

Your seven souls are gross as heck.

Your nose is just as visible as a reducio'd speck, Voldemooort.

I wouldn't touch something you touched, not even a tiny fleeeeck!

You're worse then Dolores, Voldemort.

You have Aragog in your smrik!

You try to be kinda settle,

But your just a big pale jerk, Voldemooort.

If I could choose a word to describe you it would be

Tremendous

Treachorous

TROOOOOOLL!

So Voldemort, that vile rascal

Made sure everyone was a fool

To his angry hateful crime,

That made him look like a ball of slime,

Except for his last stop, in the Hogwarts Kitchens,

When a house-elf heard the Dark Lord and was suddenly awakened.

It was little old Dobby, the one who lacks a master.

"Santa, why are you stealing our Christmas platter?"

Voldemort had a plan if this would happen,

So he sat down the cookie plate and made Dobby listen,

"Well the Weasley Twins let out a device,

That makes eating these cookies make you throw up twice.

Their prank is unfunny and they'll be in trouble.

But for right now I must put these snacks on recall."

Dobby was gullible and fell for the trick,

And didn't want the students to get sick,

So he didn't argue or fight at all,

And went back to sleep in his small sleeping stall.

Voldemort let out a small chuckle and tiptoed outside.

"I stole their dumb Christmas" He said with a snide.

Act 3
He raced the sleigh back to his cave home,

Laughing evilly while Petigrew groaned.

As soon as he landed a distance from the castle,

He monologued on how this was worth the hastle.

But before he knew it it was morningtime,

And the students would awake and were to cry.

But he didn't here moaning or whining or groaning.

In fact, he heard loud celebrating.

The Dark Lord looked at the castle ground and was stupified.

That not one of the students looked like they cried.

They were singing and playing and talking and cheering.

And none of the students were doing any tearing.

"But I don't understand, I thought that was what Christmas was about!"

Then he had a flicker of doubt.

It is possible, he presumed, that Christmas isn't about gifts..

It is for family time and hugging and taking fun trips.

It's about religion that we can't go into much,

Or else the Government would get angry and all of that such.

Winter's the season of joy and fun,

Simply taking the gifts wouldn't make it be done.

Some say that day that his heart really grew,

But many doubt that that is really true.

Because you know, he killed all those people in DH Part 2.

But we know he did one act of kindness on Christmas,

And hopped back on his sleigh and said to all of us

"I'm gonna return these presents to the children!"

No matter of house, Gryfindor or Slytherin!

For though I am a heartless old coot,

Christmas is a thing that shall not take the boot!"

So he returned the presents, the stockings, and the turkeys.

The tencils, the ornaments, the snowmen, the huge grand Christmas tree.

And while he did it he shouted to us all

"Merry Christmas to me, Merry Christmas to all!"

(And let's try to pass over when he landed in the school,

He tried to kill Harry like a big Christmas fool,

But hey, at least Voldy did something that day,

That did not make everyone say "Oh nay.")

THE END!