Steamed Hams but it's Summer Camp Island

Susie: Well, Oscar, I made it, despite your directions.

Oscar: Ah, Camp Counselor Susie, welcome! I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon!

Susie: Whatever.

Oscar: Oh no! My roast is ruined! But what if... I were to get food from the mess hall and disguise it as my own cooking? What a smart idea! Good job, me.

Susie: Uh-?

Oscar with his crazy explanations, the Camp Counselor's gonna need her medication! When she hears Oscar's lame exaggerations, there'll be trouble in town tonight!

Susie: OSCAAAAR!

Oscar: Camp Counselor! I was just, uh, stretching my calves on the windowsill! Isometric exercise, care to join me?

Susie: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Oscar?

Oscar: Uhm, ooh, that isn't smoke, it's steam! Steam from the steamed clams we're having! Mmmmm, steamed clams!

Oscar: Whew.

Oscar: Camp Counselor, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering hamburgers!

Susie: I thought we were having steamed clams.

Oscar: Doh, no, I said steamed hams! That's what I call hamburgers!

Susie: You call hamburgers steamed hams?

Oscar: Yes! It's a regional dialect.

Susie: Uh-huh. Eh, what region?

Oscar: Uhhh, upstate New York.

Susie: Really? Well, I'm from Utica and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed hams".

Oscar: Oh, not in Utica, no. It's an Albany expression.

Susie: I see.

Susie: These burgers are the same ones they serve at the mess hall.

Oscar: What? nooo, patented Oscarburgers! Ooold family recipe!

Susie: For steamed hams.

Oscar: Yes!

Susie: And you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled.

Oscar: Y-Uh... You know, the... One thing I sh... Excuse me for one second.

Susie: Sure.

Oscar: Well, that was wonderful. Good time was had by all, I'm pooped!

Susie: Yes, I should be- GOOD LORD, WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE!?

Oscar: Aurora Borealis.

Susie: Uh-? AURORA BOREALIS!? At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, localized ENTIRELY within your kitchen!?

Oscar: Yes!

Susie: May I see it?

Oscar: No.

Hedgehog: Oscar, your cabin is on fire!

Oscar: No, Hedgehog, it's just the northern lights.

Susie: Well, Oscar, you are an odd fellow, but I must say... you steam a good ham.

Hedgehog: HEEELP! HEEEELP!