Steamed Hams but it's Whatever Happened to... Robot Jones?

(Socks comes to Robot's house. Robot then appears at the front of the house)

Socks: Well, Robot, I made it- despite your directions.

Robot: Ah. Socks unit. Welcome. - I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon.

Socks: Yeah.

(Socks sits at the table as Robot goes into his kitchen, only to see that his oven is steaming. He gasps and runs to the oven and sees that the ham he was cooking is burning)

Robot: Oh, egads! My robot roast is ruined, and I was to sprinkle it with oil. (Robot stretches his neck through the door and sees a McDonald's in the distance) But what if I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? (Robot gets an idea) Delightfully devilish, Robot.

(Robot exits his house, only for Socks to stop at the front door)

Singers: "Robot may be an intellect, but he can't see the human world quite right, When he hears Socks' lame exaggerations, there'll be trouble in town tonight!"

Socks: Robot!

Robot: Socks unit, I was just- uh, just stretching my robotic legs. Isometric exercise. Care to join me?

Socks: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Robot?

Robot: Uh- Oh. That isn't smoke. It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmm. Steamed clams, some that'll have robot oil.

(Socks leaves and Robot heads off to McDonald's. Then he comes back as he comes with the hamburgers and sets them on the table)

Robot: Socks unit, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering hamburgers, some with oil, made just for robots.

Socks: I thought we were having steamed clams.

Robot: D'oh, no. I said steamed hams. That's what I call hamburgers.

Socks: You call hamburgers steamed hams?

Robot: Yes. It's a regional dialect.

Socks: Uh-huh. Uh, what region?

Robot: Uh, upstate New York.

Socks: Really. Well, I'm from Utica, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed hams."

Robot: Oh, not in Utica. No. It's an Albany expression.

Socks: I see.

(Socks takes a hamburger and takes a bite out of it)

Socks: You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at McDonald's.

Robot: Oh, no. Patented burgers. Old family recipe. Besides, I covered some with robot oil.

Socks: For steamed hams.

Robot: Yes.

Socks: Yes. And you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled.

Robot: Ye- You know, the- One thing I should- - Excuse me for one second.

Socks: Of course.

(Robot comes to check his oven and comes out where it is shown behind the door that the oven has started a fire)

Robot: Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped.

Socks: Yes. I should be- Good Lord! What is happening in there?

Robot: Aurora borealis.

Socks: Uh- Aurora borealis at this time of year at this time of day in this part of the country localized entirely within your kitchen?

Robot: Yes.

Socks: May I see it?

Robot: No.

(Robot and Socks walk out of the house)

Shannon: (offscreen) Robot! The house is on fire!

Robot: No, Shannon. It's just the northern lights.

Socks: Well, Robot, you are an odd fellow but I must say you steam a good ham.

(Socks walks away as the fire is still burning Robot's house)

Shannon: (offscreen) Help! Help!

(Socks turns around to see Robot smiling and waving, then he continues to walk ahead)