Bland Flakes

Is your breakfast cereal too exciting? Then you need BLAND FLAKES! Bland Flakes are the best flakes ever! There so Bland! Like, look at this, there so bland (throws box at random guy) they are the ultimate weapon (guy gets hit and dies) for anything! So yes, it has no marshmallows, no flavoring, just cardboard, that's right, the flakes are made of cardboard, which has nutritional value of ZERO!! But there good for filling your belly, and there as good as chili! They only cost $9,999 a pack! SO BUY NOW! Wait!! Call right now and you get one for the price of TWO!!! Thats right, you pay double for one! So buy now OR ILL KILL YOU!!