User blog:J. Severe/Let's Look Back on 2012's Greatest Movies

There's only a few hours left in the year 2012 -- afterward, it shall become a thing of the past, like 2011, 2010, and the many years before that. We shall look back on it for several things, but mainly one thing. No, not of the several gun or natural disaster-related tragedies that happened in America and around the world. Heck, not even the emergence of PSY's "Gangnam Style", which became a worldwide phenomenon and the first video on the internet to reach a billion views -- but the amount of awesome movies that came out! Here are some of them, with fascinating accompanying reflective paragraphs:

The Secret World of Arrietty
Release Date: February 17, 2012 Studio: Studio Ghibli Distributor: Walt Disney Pictures

Our first film is actually one that came out in 2010 in Japan but, because English people are so lazy, didn't arrive in US theaters until two years later, but nevertheless, we didn't fuss, because we were too busy getting tickets to see the latest masterpiece from acclaimed Japanese anime studio Studio Ghibli. The movie focuses on a family of really small people called the Borrowers who live in the walls of some regular humans' house and steal their stuff regularly, and hijinks ensue when the daughter of the family, Arrietty, is a fiery redhead who forms a forbidden a friendship with Shawn, a sickly boy who comes to lives in the house. I caught the movie on TV the other day and it's become my favorite Ghibli film (then again, the only other two I've seen are Howl's Moving Castle and Tales from Earthsea), plus it features Bridgit Mendler and David Henrie in roles most of you won't find annoying, so if you haven't checked it out yet, go ahead why don't 'cha?

Dr. Seuss' The Lorax
Release Date: March 2, 2012 Studio: Illumination Entertainment Distributor: Universal Pictures

Our next film is from from the creators of the successful Despicable Me, who have come off from 2011's mediocre Hop, who are tackling their first non-original property -- an adaptation of the environmentalist Dr. Seuss book. The main character is Ted, who, in order to impress the love of his life, Audrey, seeks to grow a tree, which have become extinct in his town of Thneedville. He's recommended by his grandmother to visit the Once-ler, a loner old guy who lives by himself in the outskirts of town. Throughout several visits, the Once-ler tells Ted of when he was a young, dashing entrepreneur who came to the area to make Thneeds out of the Truffula trees of the forest and, in his greed, ended up depleting the entire place despite the protests of the Lorax, and gives Ted a final seed which he must plant in the middle of the town to set things right. It's pretty standard fare, and sure, one of the most important scenes of the book is compressed into a rock song (which is pretty cool, so it's not a total loss), but it's still fairly enjoyable and it looks pretty, so it's still worth a watch.

The Hunger Games
Release Date: March 23, 2012 Studio: Lionsgate / Color Force Distributor: Lionsgate

One of the biggest literary phenomenons of the year was the The Hunger Games series, which sprung out of nowhere. To this day, all of the copies of the first book continue to be checked out at my local library. Which such popularity, it was pretty much a given that a film adaptation would be in the works, and such a thing was released back in March. It focuses on Katniss, a teenage chick who's handy with a bow, who must compete with several other teens in the Hunger Games, a bloody tournament in which kids from several districts must brutally kick each other, and the sole survivor becomes the victor. The movie was pretty well-received, however, one of its major criticisms was the abundance of shaky cam in it, which was used repeatedly since, y'know, they can't actually show teenagers getting killed on-screen, even in a PG-13 movie, and that was the only way to show it without really showing it. So as long as you don't get headaches from stuff like this, this film is fine for you.

The Avengers
Release Date: May 4, 2012 Studio: Marvel Studios Distributor: Paramount Pictures / Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures

This flick is one we should all know and love. Built up over several years by independent films connected in a shared universe, this brought together the superheroes from those movies into one grand action-packed adventure which ended up becoming the third-highest grossing feature of all time. Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Bruce Banner, and Thor are all recruited by Nick Fury of S.H.I.E.L.D. to, along with Black Widow and Hawkeye, assume their super-powered alter egos as Iron Man, Captain America, the Hulk, and... Thor and stop an evil alien invasion occurring in New York City, caused by Thor's adoptive brother Loki. I won't bother telling you to see this since you already should have, and if you haven't, make this known in the comments so I can slap you 'cross the face.

Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted
Release Date: June 8, 2012 Studio: Dreamworks Animation Distributor: Paramount Pictures

Dreamworks Animation's first film of the year was the third entry in their successful Madagascar franchise. Alex the Lion, Marty the Zebra, Gloria the Hippo, Melman the Giraffe, and those lovable penguins and lemurs have escaped from Africa (although how or why they did apparently isn't shown) and find themselves in Europe. However, they end up getting in some trouble with animal control and must find somewhere to hide before they end up locked up. What do they do? Join a traveling circus. Unlike the first two movies, which got pretty mediocre reception, this one received better, for being a colorful, fun romp which didn't rely too much on pop culture references. See it if you can, if only for this memorable little scene which created quite a stir back in the summer.

Brave
Release Date: June 22, 2012 Studio: Pixar Animation Studios Distributor: Walt Disney Pictures

Pixar had been known as the king of computer animation until 2011's Cars 2 which, though successful, wasn't exactly loved by critics. Is this movie the studio's return to form? It isn't actually much of an intense film, but if you enjoy heartwarming mother-daughter stuff, you'll get a kick out of this. Princess Merida is a teenager who wields a bow (hey, just like someone else mentioned in this blog!) who is going to be forced to marry some other royal dude in typical Disney fashion. Obviously, she doesn't take well to this, which causes a rift between her and her mother, Queen Elinor. She ends up meeting a mischevious witch and wishes for a spell to change her fate, which turns her mother into a bear. Now they must go a heartwrenching not-so-much-of-a-journey to turn her back into a person, but not without learning some stuff about each other along the way. It's not the best Pixar movie, but it's not the worst either -- but it's a Pixar movie after all, so it must be seen.

The Amazing Spider-Man
Release Date: July 3, 2012 Studio: Marvel Entertainment Distributor: Columbia Pictures

Before Marvel started doing their own flicks, they licensed them out to other movie studios. The Spider-Man franchise was one of them. The web-slinger's movie series made great dough, but ended after the third installment in 2007 after director Sam Raimi quit. Since not making a Spidey movie for a few years would cause the rights to revert back to Marvel and Sony would be out of the money that it would make, they decided to reboot the series, starting from the beginning with a whole new cast. It's the story we're all familiar with -- Peter Parker is an awkward nerd with no friends, except for the blond Gwen Stacy, who gives bitten by a radioactive spider and, after witnessing the death of his Uncle Ben, decides to turn into your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, and faces off against the first of his rogue's gallery, who in this movie is the Lizard. Despite it being based off familiar territory, it's still great fun, with spectacular action sequences and special effects, so unless you loath good times, there's no reason your eyes shouldn't gaze upon this for two and a half or so hours.

The Dark Knight Rises
Release Date: July 20, 2012 Studio: Legendary Pictures / Syncopy Films / DC Comics Distributor: Warner Bros. Pictures

Batman is one of the most manly superheroes ever, and Nolan is one of the most manly directors ever (or at least the most srs) so his Batman movie series has been enjoyed by many men and women who have been turned into men by watching them. They brought plenty of cash to Warner Bros., but because Nolan is such a troll, he decided to end the series at his height with this, the sequel to 2008's The Dark Knight. All you need to do about this movie is that the main antagonist Bane ends up freakin' breaking Batman's back, Anne Hathaway stars in a hot Catwoman suit, and Morgan Freeway is in it. If that hasn't sent you running to the nearest Walmart to pick this up on DVD or Blu-ray, then reggie-whatswrongwithyou.gif

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days
Release Date: August 3, 2012 Studio: Dune Entertainment / Color Force Distributor: 20th Century Fox

Okay, so this isn't really that big -- heck, it only made about $75 million at the box office, but we all like the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series, so why not include it, am I right? The movie combines the third and fourth books into one film, and focuses on our wimpy hero Greg Heffley, who seem to have finally hit puberty judging by his deep-ish voice. It's summer, and he's out of school, but that doesn't mean he's out of problems -- his older brother, Rodrick, keeps picking on him, his best friend, Rowley, won't stop being embarrassing, his dad is contemplating sending him to military school or boot camp or whatever, and the family's newly adopted dog is a bit of a bother. How does he deal with all of this? You'll have to watch it to see.

The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure
Release Date: August 29, 2012 Studio: N/A Distributor: N/A

I put this here for the lulz. Yes, I'm a horrible person for being so ironic, as this definitely isn't one of the biggest movies of the year, but the biggest box office bomb of all time. It features a bunch of grown people (I'm assuming) hilariously dressed up as creepy-looking creatures that look like they've come from the mind of the genius that came up with Teletubbies (that's sarcasm, kiddies) doing disturbing baby stuff. It also stars Christoper Lloyd (i.e., Judge Doom from Roger Rabbit and Doc Brown from Back to the Future) who has sunk to a new low. It's known for being one of the first films to actually encourage audience members to stand up and interact with the movie, which I'd imagine was very awkward for whoever had the misery of seeing this. Let's hope you never see it. Seriously. Don't!

Hotel Transylvania
Release Date: September 28, 2012 Studio: Sony Pictures Animation Distributor: Columbia Pictures

Sony Pictures Animation is an interesting studio. They make great movies like Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, then they make crap like The Smurfs. They seem to be trying to win us back as they recruited Genndy Tartokovsky (creator of Dexter's Laboratory, Samurai Jack, and Sym-Bionic Titan, and crew member of The Powerpuff Girls) to direct this funny family film. Dracula, when he's not off sucking blood or whatever I guess, runs a hotel called Hotel Transylvania, where monsters can come and rest after doing whatever frightening stuff they do. However, a young human named Johnny finds his way into the hotel and gains a fondness for Dracula's daughter, Mavis. As expected, cartoony hijinks ensue. Buy it and watch it to support Tartokovsky!

Frankenweenie
Release Date: October 5, 2012 Studio: Tim Burton Productions Distributor: Walt Disney Pictures

Tim Burton, famed horror director, had his theatrical presence in the year of an adaptation of an old short film he made back in 1984. This and Focus Features' ParaNorman made up 2012's stop-motion movies, but this had the edge, being only in black and white (since all black and white movies are great and superior to today's loud and trashy colored movies, or so my grandpa says), and thus the first black and white film released in 3D. A clever twist on Mary Shelley's classic novel, Victor Frankenstein is a boy whose dog Sparky has just died. Rather than let nature takes its course, however, Victor instead decides to go against the laws of the universe and bring Sparky back to life. However, this life-resurrecting method soon causes problems and creates a monster that threatens the town. Making only $66 million at the box office, it wasn't exactly a big hit, so purchase its home release next month to show Disney that stop-motion movies are still viable (and maybe one day we'll get a sequel to The Nightmare Before Christmas).

Wreck-It Ralph
Release Date: November 2, 2012 Studio: Walt Disney Animation Studios Distributor: Walt Disney Pictures

This right here is the greatest movie of the year, and was hyped to heck and back and loved by everyone on the here except for one or two weirdos. This year's Disney Animation Studios' flick, the movie takes a video game-centered focus, and is about a video game bad who wants to be a good guy. Ralph is the villain of arcade game Fix-It Felix, Jr. and thus isn't exactly loved by the population. Wanting to gain some recognition, he decides to win a hero's medal and leaves his game to go to Hero's Duty, a shooter headed by the tough Sergeant Calhoun, which he subsequently messes up. Afterward, he ends up in racing game Sugar Rush, where he meets up with glitched racer Vanellope von Schwartz whom he must help participate in one of the game's races, which she has always dreamed of doing, while also dealing with the crazy King Candy, while Fix-It Felix and Sergeant Calhoun look for him and create the greatest shipping ever. It features cameos from several licensed video game characters, including Sonic the Hedgehog, Pac-Man, Bowser, Ryu and Ken, etc. It's also funny, charming, teaches a good message, gets surprisingly dark, and looks good visually too. I give it all the "ZOMG YOU MUST SEE IT"s in the world.

Skyfall
Release Date: November 9, 2012 Studio: Eon Productions Distributor: Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer / Columbia Pictures

This year is the 50th anniversary of the James Bond film series, so it's only natural that they celebrate it with a new entry in the series. Daniel Craig stars in his third consecutive film as the famous Agent 007 and does awesome spy stuff. Heck, even the opening credits are pretty amazing. It's also the first Bond movie to gross over a billion bucks at the box office, and is thus currently the 14th highest grossing film of all time, quite a feat for the franchise. See it if you're in for a jolly good British time, old chap.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2
Release Date: November 16, 2012 Studio: Temple Hill / Sunswept Entertainment Distributor: Summit Entertainment

This, unfortunately, is a pretty big movie too, as the power (and money) of Twihards is to be reckoned with. Fortunately, it's the final Twilight movie in the series, so we shall not have to deal with its horribleness anymore. Ripping-off from the last Harry Potter movies, the final Twilight book was split into two films, and this continues from the last one, and focuses on the last adventures of vampires Bella and Edward and shirtless werewolf Taylor Lautner (I haven't bothered to remember his character's name). Edward and Bella have to fight the Volturi or something. Edward goes pedo and falls in love with Bella and Edward's new-born baby. Won't say too much about this as I don't want to keep lowering your IQ. Don't see the movie either unless you want to end up brain-dead.

Rise of the Guardians
Release Date: November 21, 2012 Studio: Dreamworks Animation Distributor: Paramount Pictures

Dreamworks' second movie of the year is also their last one with Paramount (2013's The Croods, Turbo, and Mr. Peabody & Sherman and subsequently films will be released by 20th Century Fox), as well as a holiday themed one. From the same personnel that crafted 2010's critically acclaimed How To Train Your Dragon, it's based off the books by William Joyce, i.e., the creator of Rollie Pollie Ollie (ooh, just saying the name of that show gets me all nostalgia-y). The main character is Jack Frost, a fun-loving teenager-esque legendary figure who is summoned by the Guardians (a team of fellow legendary figures who protect the children of the world), who are comprised of Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and Sandman to fight Pitch, the Boogeyman, who wants to do bad, bad things. It hasn't quite been as successful as Dreamworks' other films with just a $255 box office thus far, so go see it if you haven't, it's a good movie.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
Release Date: December 13, 2012 Studio: New Line Cinema / Metro-Goldwin-Mayer Distributor: Warner Bros. Pictures

The first of a new trilogy, this movie is a precursor to the well-known The Lord of the Rings franchise, which is adored by nerds and dorks alike. It focuses on Bilbo Baggins, a young Hobbit, who goes on a grand journey with a pack of dwarves and Albus Dumbledore Gandalf the Grey. Critically, it may not be up to par with its sister series, but its special effects are gorgeous and if you're a fan of fantasy, you'll be able to engage yourself in the adventure (heck, you may be able to even if you're not), so why deprive yourself of a fun time when you could go out and give Warner Bros. all of your money?

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Yessir, 2012 had its share of movies, both good and bad. What will 2013 bring to the film industry? Sequels and reboots. You brought this upon yourself! We'll see, in time...

Fin.