User blog comment:Bowser & Jr./Nintendo Direct 1.14.2015/@comment-1518158-20150114225120

The sad thing about this Direct is that it started off so well. Beginning with a followup to Fire Emblem Awakening, one of the best games on 3DS? Megaton, this will be the best Direct yet. Puzzle & Dragons gameplay looked pretty cool, would pick up the two game bundle in May. Releasing Wii games on the Wii U eShop is an excellent idea that lots of people wanted, Metroid Prime Trilogy being available is especially fantastic since that'll no longer be rare. Super Mario line of Amiibo that looks like better than the Smash figures of the chars, nice. Lucina, Robin, and Ness Amiibos coming up, take my money. Splatoon continues to look like the most fun and stylish af Wii U game ever, being able to customize your character is a great feature. Creamed my pants at Xenoblade Chronicles X like I always do, gigantic open-world RPGs yum, highlight of the show for me. Cross-buy for the new Mario vs. Donkey Kong is amazing, especially if it becomes a thing that they do from now on and they make it available for Virtual Console games. But...

Not releasing the regular-sized N3DS in NA is some Grade A, USDA-approved BULLSH*T. I can understand not wanting to release extra colors or special editions for the system but skipping an entire revision is probably the dumbest thing NoA has done in recent memory, especially when every other country in the world is getting it. When it was first announced, I was like "aw yiss, this'll be a great replacement for my OG 3DS which is scratched to hell and back, literally used as a post for Satan's cat." The new features were great, it looked wonderful aesthetically and the Super Famicom buttons were a really nice touch. And that's not even mentioning the interchangeable faceplates omg. Being able to customize your system was a great idea, being able to give it different designs with official and third-party plates so it matched my personality/reflected my interests was something I really wanted to do, and they would've made NoA a ton of money; millions of N3DS owners buying accessories for their system = $$$. But of course, Reggie had to go "durr hurr i'm reggie my body is ready i kick arse and take names" and only release the XL ver. because "it makes the most sense for their market," or some sh*t. You know what, I took a dump this morning, a big, stinking dump in my porcelain toilet and that makes more sense as an explanation for why we're only getting the XL than that crap. It's only made worse considering that some of the N3DS-exclusive features are really nice, like the camera in MM3D and being able to put FE chars in S.T.E.A.M. (Lucina on my team yes pls). I hope some noise is made about this and Ninty realizes that not everyone has some f*cking Giant from Fun and Fancy Free-size hands.

And Bill's eyes were red as f*ck throughout this thing. Either he's high as sh*t and been smoking too much weed or he's got pinkeye from all of the sh*t permeating most corners of Nintendo of America.