Moon Snail's Fortune Cookies/Take

You reach into the jar, grabbing your fortune cookie.

"Thanks, and hope you enjoy! Come back tomorrow for another one!"

As you walk out of the store, you break open the fortune cookie, then eat it. You read the fortune...

"You will meet an old friend  feel like baking some delicious cookies  have great fortune  see a bad future ahead  realize a terrible mistake  come across an interesting thing  expand dong  have very few choices  experience near-death  be pleasantly suprised  see your true goal  Find a friend's disgusting secret  have the urge to force soda advertisements down others' throats  mourn that one food you dropped on the floor and had to clean up one time  wear a nice-looking hat  find out windmills do not work that way  discover that jelly world does not exist  question your own existance  find a shiny pokemon    while browsing Random-ness wiki" when uploading something to DeviantArt" while watching a video of (one of) your favorite youtuber's"  during a party"  outside your house" while looking up what a meme means on KYM" while defending from the zombie apocalypse" when talking with missingn02894hgbiwb#b2@$TWWEG#$TG##T@G$@F$T$)I$)*(@)$*%(" after donating to something"  after realizing this fortune cookie was a complete li-" Aw crap, the cookie just fades from your hand as if it didn't exist..